Deep Knowing

One of the absolute truths of work, and of life, is that none of us exist in a vacuum. Not only do we have to coexist with other beings, there is little that we can accomplish completely on our own. Certainly that is true in organizations, but it is true even for those who work independently. We are not fully alone nor are we completely self sufficient.

And when we work with others, we have choices about how we interact and how we develop relationships. While you can certainly interact with others in a purely transactional way, as in “I need this from you and you need this from me,” there is great benefit in understanding and connecting on a deeper level.

Human beings crave connection and they want to be seen, they want to be known. It is a fundamental need, as key to our survival as, dare I say, food and water and there is a large body of research that demonstrates the importance of social connection to health.

Understanding that, accepting that, can inform the way that we work with others and the way we build teams. That applies not just to the leader but to the connections between colleagues. It is a simple but meaningful tenet, if we know one another better, we can work together more effectively and even more harmoniously.

How do we do that in a world where the pace only increases and the pressures are intense? I believe that a small investment of time can yield great dividends, that fostering an environment in which knowing one another is valued takes little time but produces great results.

Making this happen must be intentional but does not need to be difficult. It can be as simple in a large group as having people sit with those they don’t know and giving them a few minutes to chat, answering a question that helps them to know one another better. It can be starting a meeting with an icebreaker that provides insight, as basic as “What was your first job” or “What are your personal goals for the new year.”

When we scratch the surface and see our colleagues as people, not just roles, we find points of commonality that can help us develop a relationship. And when we have relationships, they enhance not just our ability to work together but also our effectiveness.

Leadership is not solely about relationships but it is a pillar, perhaps the most important pillar, of growth and of success.