Leading with your heart is built on many factors, first and foremost, the ability and desire to listen. Yes, most of us have the ability but not all of us choose to have the desire. And that desire is critical.
It is easy to walk down the hall or be in a Zoom meeting and not fully acknowledge anyone. We are busy, our days are full and we are consumed with the thoughts of what we need to do and how much has to be accomplished. So we wrap ourselves in our own self-importance and we ignore anyone else. Maybe we say a quick “hi” or nod but, clearly, the message is that we don’t have time for connection.
Yet, saying hi and asking a quick question or adding a brief comment can make a difference. I learned that in an interaction with a staff member some years ago. It was early in September, right after Labor Day. I was taking my usual quick walk around the buildings and saw a member of our clinical team.
I gave a quick hi and an even quicker smile and then asked how her holiday weekend had been. Instead of the one word answer I expected, “good, fine, busy,” or words to that effect, she said “I spent the weekend working on my new house.” I must have looked quizzical because she went on, “Oh, you don’t know about my house. I am building a house with the help of Habitat for Humanity. I am hoping to get us moved in for Thanksgiving.”
I told her that was amazing and I went back down to my office, thinking about what she had said. I’d had the chance to volunteer for Habitat once and I knew what great work they do. I asked HR about this particular employee and learned that she was a single mom of three young boys, that she’d started with us as an aide and had gone back to school, becoming an LPN and now was working on her RN.
Was there a way we could help this employee, I wondered. What could we do to make this happen for her and hit her Thanksgiving goal? Our HR Director called Habitat and we soon secured two weekday afternoons when they could use some unskilled labor. Every member of our management team gave a half day of their time and we went out and did all of the priming of the interior walls. We took photos and videos and we asked the Habitat folks to keep our volunteer sign in pages out of the book.
The Sunday before Thanksgiving, we were invited by Habitat to the home’s dedication. I went, carrying a scrapbook full of photos and a copy of the video as well as a card signed by many of our team. I knocked on the door and our employee opened it. She said, with both a smile and some confusion, “You’re here!” And I said, “There’s something you don’t know” and shared the story of what we had done. She was in tears and said that the extra volunteer effort had made her Thanksgiving dream a reality.
In all my years working in organizations, I think of that episode as the one of the most significant for our organization. The story spread everywhere in the buildings and people could not stop talking about what it meant, that we were just not an employer but that we really cared. In an era, and a field, in which retention is a challenge, this was one small effort that yielded significant results.
We did very little for this employee. We spent a few hours painting and having fun together. But we made a difference in her life. And we made a difference in the perceptions of our staff. It was one conversation, less than five minutes long, but it was a moment that demonstrated the value of hearing and listening.
Leading with Head and Heart 